{"id":30,"date":"2022-09-21T19:26:33","date_gmt":"2022-09-21T19:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/?page_id=30"},"modified":"2023-05-01T03:44:06","modified_gmt":"2023-05-01T03:44:06","slug":"digital-project-1","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/digital-project-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Digital Project #1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Paternally Confused<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

An interesting constant in my life is always the notion of almost belonging but not quite belonging as well as everyone else. I wrote about how I\u2019m involved with lots of different communities in my CODES supplemental essay, but I didn\u2019t touch on how I\u2019ve never felt a full sense of belonging in almost any of them. It\u2019d be remarkably easy to write about being the only Black boy in my grade up until 8th<\/sup> grade, or how my family and I were and still are one of the only black families in a heavily white suburban neighborhood; although I\u2019d rather explain how I don\u2019t feel a sense of belonging within my own family at times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\n

            The Australian side of my family is very close to each other as they are all still down-under and see each other frequently; unfortunately, my family and I are almost 9,000 miles away in Kansas City, Missouri so we rarely see them. Before 2019, the last time we were there was when I was 4 years old in 2008. We try talking to them as much as possible using facetime and skype, but it\u2019s never the same as being there with them. As you can see from the photo, my father, sister, and I are the only black people in the family, so we don\u2019t exactly fit in at times. It becomes difficult because we are so different as a family. It starts to feel like we\u2019re alienated in a way because they all have inside jokes and things that they all understand that we don\u2019t because we\u2019re from a different country and have lived very different lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
My family and I with Grandma Eula at my High School Graduation<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
My family and I with our Australian family in Sydney, Australia (2019)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Things are even more difficult with my father\u2019s family, funnily enough. I can\u2019t remember ever actually met someone from my dad\u2019s side that I\u2019m related to by blood. I met my Paternal Grandfather when I was around 2 years old, but obviously I was too young to remember the moment. My dad\u2019s side has been a source of confusion for me my entire life, because I\u2019ve never had any connection with them. The only family from his side we talk to are step-brothers, my step-grandma Eula and the rest of their families. Recently we\u2019ve been looking more into our family history and my father has come into contact with some relatives from his side that are around the Kansas City area that we never knew about. It\u2019ll be interesting to start meeting them and hopefully getting close to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Me with my Father and Grandfather<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Another area of my life where I\u2019ve never felt a true sense of belonging was just my childhood in general. Looking back at how I grew up, the main things I think about are the neighborhood we used to live in, the sports I played, and how my experiences were at school. All of those experiences reflect the same issue of being incredibly isolated no matter what I did to fit in. I was almost always the only black boy on any of my sports teams, my family and I were one of the few black families in our neighborhood, and isolation at school came the easiest. As a result, I spent the majority of my time with my parents and my sister and we got very close as a family. Having such a minimal sense of belonging in so many environments can be very negative, but it cultivated such a powerful feeling of belonging in my family which helped me develop well throughout childhood. I started becoming someone who wasn\u2019t very reliant on others, and I\u2019ve gotten to the point of just needing my family instead of others\u2019 acceptance. The bond that my father, mother, sister, and I have created is truly unbreakable and they\u2019ve taught me so much over my 18 years of life. They all helped me navigate feeling so different everywhere I found myself. They also taught me about how I could better advocate for myself in order to make the most out of any situation.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

One person I\u2019d say I\u2019ve learned the most from is my father, as he was a hugely important piece of my development as a man as well as in terms of being an athlete. He helped me focus so much of my energy and ideas into a direct flow of determination, persistence, and confidence that has created so much success for me socially, academically, and athletically. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father crafted me into a person that didn\u2019t let a lack of fitting in affect them; instead, I advocate for increased diversity within my environments. I prioritized diversity in my college search and accepted nothing less than what I wanted and what I knew would be best for me. It\u2019s taken work to develop, but it\u2019s the most useful tool I\u2019ll ever have.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Revised Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In short, the one location that has shaped me the most is more of a figurative place instead of a tangible one. This ‘place’ is with my family. Since family is and has been such an important part of my entire life, it’s the one place I could pinpoint where I’ve been affected the most. Each of these photos, while seeming rather unimportant, have a lot of meaning to me. The majority of them are important moments in my life that’s shaped me into who I am; whereas others are simply examples of many moments that wrote my life story. From great experiences with my father, to my first exposure to soccer, to meeting my whole family as a new person than the one they remembered, all the way to graduation, these photos all show how much my family has affected me just with their presence. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Paternally Confused An interesting constant in my life is always the notion of almost belonging but not quite belonging as well as everyone else. I wrote about how I\u2019m involved with lots of different communities in my CODES supplemental essay, but I didn\u2019t touch on how I\u2019ve never felt a full sense of belonging inContinue reading “Digital Project #1”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/full-width.php","meta":{"_sb_is_suggestion_mode":false,"_sb_show_suggestion_boards":false,"_sb_show_comment_boards":false,"_sb_suggestion_history":"","_sb_update_block_changes":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-30","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":319,"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/30\/revisions\/319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eportfolio.siue.edu\/garrison-hill\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}