Monthly Archives: September 2024

I was offered the privilege to perform a play I wrote based of a poem of mine at my high school of Moline. It was completely student lead and an amazing experience

By: Lyric Howard

L: Narrator a bit older and you can tell has been through a couple of things

M: A young tween who is adventurous and witty but is about to go through a big life event

S: Young tween. a bit awkward but childhood friend of s starts to deal with emotions in a negative way.

Shadows: played by three people and the self-conscious of M 

Spotlight on L as music slowly starts to increase in volume. L has a mark on their face 

L: The record continues to play. This track feens upon their ears. It just continues playing on and on and on and on! I don’t think they can remember silence not ever since that day.

 (Black out and music dims)

Setting: room with a record player and a couch

Off stage

M: You’re such a dork

S: well if I’m a dork than that makes you the dork Queen

M:  well at least i’m still royalty

S: That was the dumbest comeback of all time

L: Friendship is such a big part of development. It shows and teaches you so many valuable life lessons, but it can also bring complicated feelings and emotions.

M and S are standing together on stage, and they are enjoying each other’s present they dance and play fight until m somehow ends up on the floor

M: I Hate the fact you can do that

S: Just get better and then maybe you could finally win

M: yeah, whatever

S: you know if you just worked out you wouldn’t be so easily defeated by this smoke show (S flexes their muscles)

M: bahahaha if you think that’s a smoke show you should see the j2 bathrooms

L: Children are so innocent. I always wonder about the event in everyone’s lives that makes them lose that childhood joy. Was it the loss of their favorite toy or figuring out the jolly fat man wasn’t actually real. Well, some events are an even darker cape to dim the light of a child (L snaps their fingers)

(The music increases)

M: Om gosh it’s our song

S: ha-ha yeah that reminds me. We’ve known each other for a while.

Shadows: The record

M: yeah, we’re the best of buds (M starts to dance). I think our friend anniversary is coming up.

S: I can’t believe you’re still on about that

M: How could I ever forget the day in Pre-k when we officially became friends

S: Oh, here it goes again

M: You a puny little kid that could barely walk without a gust of wind blowing them over

S: I wasn’t that small. Don’t be overdramatic.

M: shh shhh my favorite part is coming up

S: Whatever (S playfully pushes M)

Shadows: The memories

M: Then I come to your rescue when big bully Zoey really wanted your juice box

S: That was very brave of you. She was a very scary 4-year-old.

M: Oh, I know! I risked my life. Then you came to me in tears begging for my friendship

S: Okay, I didn’t beg

M: No but you did give me your pudding cups for the rest of the school year so close enough and the rest is history.

S: talking about that. I was wondering. how come we’ve never been more (Music increases more)

Shadows: Happiness is melting away

M: * snickers* don’t tell me you’re pulling one of those gimmicks on me

S: No, I’m serious. I think we can make it work. I’ve thought about it for a while.

M: No, I’m sorry but no

Shadows: (still in hiding spots) Why not?

(M looking around for where the voices and S is death staring them)

S: how will you know if we never try

M: I just know okay. it’s just not us.

Shadows: (Starting to peak out) Maybe it can be

S: is it just not us or is it just not you

M: it’s just not us

S: well maybe it is but you’re too selfish to try

M: what are you talking about

S: It’s always about you and never about me or us so maybe were going to try things my way *S grabs M arms

(Shadows start to become even more present)

M: Why are you doing this? I’m Scared

(Shadows begin to appear around S and M)

S + Shadows: Don’t be we Love you 

L: the voices in your head were never as present until the spark of child innocence left. Do you remember when the shadows appeared (Shadow peaks behind L) 

(M steps out and the light is directly on them)

M: I used to think life would always be giggles and laughs with my best friend. It seems that things cannot always be as gleeful as I would hope. It seems as if some darkness has come over our friendship. As if the shadows are now blocking their light that used to be love and turned it into darkness. (Music increase) 

(Shadows start to surround them and moves M back)

M: you’re hurting me I’m scared

Shadows: How can they scare you? You love them!

S: I thought you loved me

M: I do just not like this

S: (S steps out and shadows are grabbing M) I have always loved them in a bigger way than I could understand until now. I love them and they love me. That’s clear. I need this to work. I need to be with them. It’s an itch that I need to be scratched, and it will be.

S+ Shadows: No matter what.

Shadows: Why would they ever hurt you. they love you so much.

M: I don’t know. I can’t.

S: I thought you loved me

M: I do love you

S: Then why won’t you be with me 

M: I don’t know. I’m scared.

Shadows: you’ll always be scared *three

Shadows being to encapsulate M but M breaks free.

M: I can only feel the touch of their hand against my skin. A touch that used to be so delicate and calming is now hot and disgusting.

Shadows: Disgusting hands *Repeating*

M: I wish I could wash this feeling off, but I know that it will never leave me

Shadows: Wash off *Repeating*

L: The feeling of love can be described in many positive forms. Such as delicate, warm, cozy, fuzzy, and calming but what about suffocating. When the love that used to be so delicate now pounces on your lungs. When your cozy room of kisses and hugs now strangles you with the same arms that felt so comforting. The same lips that felt so loving is now a vicious bite.

S:  I love them so much. There is something inside me that is finally compelling me to confess this to them. They must know. They need to know, and they will accept it, or I cannot continue to live in this lie that I do not love them more than they could ever understand.

Shadows: I love you *Repeating*

M: The memory will replay in my head such as a record. The voice that was so nice and calming to hear is now replaying as a screeching screen in my ear. I cannot withstand this I am not strong enough to.

Shadows: Record *repeating*

S: You must love me like I love you were meant to be. Why can’t you see that?

M: This isn’t right. You were my friend. The person I could come to all the time and now you have become some monster. I can’t do this.

S: I just want to love you. Please

Shadows: I just want to love you. *Repeating*

M cannot run anymore and the shadows and s start to surround Them

The lights black out m has a mark on their face but is hidden from the audience and s leaves.

The lights turn on L tries to comfort m but sees the mark on M and the shadows surround them.

L: No this can’t be no no no

She goes into a ball she realizes she must let go. She takes a deep breath. The shadows start to leave. the loud music stops, and m walks off as L gets up from a ball and finally hears nothing, she realizes she’s free and it black outs

Lyric Howard

Shea

CODES 101

29 August 2024

Quad Cities is Flooding

In eighth grade I remember the whispers of excitement for an upcoming field trip. Every kid on the honor roll in the district was given a free ticket to the infamous River Bandit game. After working hard and excelling in my classes I was one of the lucky students. It had been a beautiful week, and everyone was prepared for a day of missing classes; But then that night the storm appeared! Sirens blasted and rain poured down on our unsuspecting town. It felt like ages before it ended. Before we knew it the town was flooded. Businesses had closed, and people could barely leave their house without swim shoes. Worst of all the trip was cancelled, and I had to attend school.

In the span of two years my hometown of the Quad Cities has had major flooding three times. Two times in 2023 and so far once in 2024. The flooding of small towns may not seem as wicked of a problem as some of the issues seen in the textbook such as food deserts, but it truly is. There are six components to a wicked problem and the continuous flooding of Moline applies to every component. The components are vague problem definition, undefined solution, no endpoint, irreversible, unique, and urgent. Vague problem definition is described as having multiple and diverse factors involved. Few towns must deal with the issue of flooding due to geographic locations. Being so close to the Mississippi River and lakes causes increased opportunities for floods to occur compared to towns that are not by bodies of water. In other areas where similar things would happen the ecosystem could be affected by constant change of water. The next component is an undefined solution. There is no one way to way to fix flooding and it is hard to find a solution to agree on. Climate change adds to the difficulty of how to fix the problem now but also in the future with continuous changes of water level because of affected precipitation. Flooding will always happen in nature, which brings us to the next component of no end point. Nature will always change, and problems will always appear. The problem can never be fully solved because at some point nature will out work the solution implemented. Due to some

solutions, there can be irreversible damage. An example of a solution they could use is floodwalls. This would cause millions to

build and cause interruption to the ecosystem of the river causing permanent harm. With all of the pieces this causes a unique problem which is also a component to be a wicked problem. One way this problem is unique is because the Quad Cities had a huge flood in 1993. It was known as the flood of the Missouri. During this flood, the water met heights of over 22ft, and cars rushed through the water to get to a safe location. You are probably wondering why I mentioned this when that was over thirty years ago. The reason is because the occurrence of floods has almost doubled since the nineties. With this increasing occurrence the continuous floodings of my town are a unique problem. It is not often towns are flooded to this extent. Being next to the Mississippi river is a unique place to be and even more uniquely we are by multiple lakes. This increases our chances of flooding higher than a town in mid Iowa, because they are not by as many sources of water. It is also urgent that we get the problem with flooding fixed. With global warming we have higher chances than ever of flooding

with escalated precipitation chance increasing river levels. This will cause more flooding to the point my town will not be able to recover. Businesses will close permanently and some of my homes will forever be underwater. We are

already used to this idea. For instance, a small coffee shop in the Quad Cities named Milltown is constantly flooded in their lot. The company is so afraid to the point they’re thinking of moving locations. Additionally, many homes are along the river and these peoples’ garages are near submerging when floodings occur, and the same event happened two months ago. My town submerged in the Mississippi river again. It was like the one that happened in 1993, it met up to 20ft. They covered it as if it was an everyday event. The

common occurrence of the floods is causing us to believe something that was a catastrophe in 1993 is now a typical day. This is a warning that things are getting worse fast, and something needs to change now.

In the end all the components of a wicked problem apply to the issue of the floodings of Moline. The vague problem definition is the many ways flooding affects can differ city to city. The undefined solution are the many ways that flooding can be solved but all come with cons. Not being able to completely end the flooding of the Mississippi River causing there to be no endpoint. Multiple of the solutions are irreversible to the ecosystem and city such as building floodwalls. The unique location of my town; and the urgency to find a solution that will work are all are reasons why the flooding of the Quad Cities is an important problem that needs attention. Maybe than other kids will be able to go to their special ballpark games.

“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness but still, like air, I’ll rise. . .” (Maya Angelou). What is the first thing you think of when you think of a Black woman? According to Google, the first thoughts that are associated with Black women are angry and strong. When I think of a Black woman, I think unstoppable, powerful, astonishing, and beautiful except I do not see that when I look in the mirror. When I see myself, I see battles of my past. I see how worn down my body feels and how broken my heart and mind are. When I was younger, I used to read ‘And Still I Rise’ by Maya Angelou. In the piece she would talk about the beauty of being a Black woman and how they will still stand no matter the endeavor. I wanted to be the caricature that Angelou promoted in her piece. A woman who is proud of her figure and can stand back up no matter how many times she is knocked down. I would soon realize with age that is not me as a person. I fall and I cry. Not saying that if you cry you are not strong. My weeping does not empower me. Each cry was replaced with pain and suffering with every exhale. I learned that I am not a strong Black woman and sometimes I feel I am the only one.

To begin with a vivid memory, ever since I was young, I always felt disconnected from my peers. I was always bullied for talking weirdly and liking odd things. I was ostracized by people who looked just like me. I remember in fourth grade it was a normal school day, and as usual I ate lunch alone. My peers laughed and snickered at me as I read through the lunch period.

I then continued to recess and watched people who used to be my closest friends descend away from me because “I acted too white” and something cracked in me. I cried on the playground that day, and I could not stop. I wept until the pit in me felt full. While this occurred, a girl walked up to me and laughed. She told me how weak I was and how I would never be accepted. This has always stayed with me. The idea that the true me was nothing but weak when I wanted to be strong Black women tore me apart. When I explained these events to my mom, she expressed how I needed to be strong and never allow my emotions to be worn on my sleeve but instead hold them deep. She told me the next time that girl made fun of me, I should slap her and show her my true strength. This conversation would shape the next few years of my life. I learned not to cry and hide who I truly was. I would soon get into fights in the schools I transferred to. Fighting was the way to show I was strong. The way I could show my peers I was just like them. This caused me to always believe I was a fraud. I always felt like I was hiding a part of me the part of me that was not this powerful façade I put on. I would soon break again. I became depressed. Pretending to be someone else is exhausting.

In my days of pretending to be someone else it started to weigh on me. I started to hate who I was. I hated how I looked. I hated how I talked. I hated everyone. I was angry and, in this anger, I felt connected to my Blackness in a way. I saw the angry Black women in media, and I thought everyone felt that way. Seeing Black women always at edge just like me gave me comfort in a way. I see people treated the same as me start to hate their blackness. People like Candace Owens, so outcasted by the Black community she starts to hate herself and others like her. I did not want that to become me. I did not want to feel a hatred for another part of me.  I still felt uncanny in myself. My soul always felt heavy with the true me hiding inside. Then my saving grace came to me on YouTube. Issa Rae posted a series about being an awkward Black girl and it was a hit. The trend went virial, and I started to see women around like me. Black women who

were strange and liked niche things. These Black girls were not afraid of who they were but

instead, proud of being different. I soon started to accept that my interest had no correlation to my Blackness. I would not have to hide things that made me happy. I would not have to hide that I am not cool. I would not have to put on a character I thought was more palatable for others. This was an enriching moment of my life. A part of me felt free again. I felt like I could smile again.

This feeling of acceptance lasted for a while until it hit me, I am not strong. Years down the line in my senior year of high school I realized; I am not the women I always wished to be. I was not that assertive and powerful women that I always read about in I Still Rise. I felt like a hypocrite. During my senior year on my debate team my speech was in honor of Maya Angelou. I dedicated my piece to Still I Rise. I was lucky enough to win first place with the piece. After the shock of the win came the imposter syndrome. My speech was about being this sexy, confident, and assertive Black woman and that was not me. I lied and it caused me to take a win from others that deserved it. On that bus ride home, I cried for three hours. I thought about how disappointed the younger me would be. I was a phony who could not get into an altercation without tears. How did I have the audacity to preach about being strong and comfortable in my Blackness? I would soon fight this battle constantly, until a specific memory occurred. I was accused of horrible false accusations by people I loved. In that situation it showed me that people I trusted with the real me still saw me as an aggressive Black woman. In that moment I could either choose to stay with people who lied about me or stand up for myself and lose a lot of people I loved. I chose myself. I stood up for myself and in that moment, I realized the strength I had. Did I cry after and regret the decision? Yes, but I stuck to my choice. I stood up for myself even though it made me seem even angrier in their eyes. I decided I would rather be alone than around frauds, and that is one of the most powerful choices a person can make.

In conclusion I am still growing and accepting the person I am becoming. I am still finding out who I truly am. What I know so far is that I am not the strong Black women I thought I would be, and that’s okay. I am stronger now than I ever thought I would be, but I’m not as strong as I wanted to be. It is a battle, I had to fight with myself for a while but then I looked back at the piece that started it all. “You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, I’ll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance as if I have diamonds at the meeting of my thighs” (Angelo)? I have still raised when I was shot down with hatefulness. I have still raised when people gave me glares and put shame on my name. I still dance like there are diamonds in between my thighs. I might not be the Black women that I always wished to be, but maybe I’m becoming the black women that I need to be.