Why can’t I wash you off
get you off my skin you contaminated with your disgusting hands
every cell of my body now contaminated by your disgusting skin
every time I think you creep amongst my thoughts making my heart beat faster as you come closer to my brain full of the memories the things you did locked up deeply in my mind you open the vault causing the inflection of pain to erupt into my body
only thing I could think about is the pain you caused me
the happiness melting away from my body all I want to know is why
why me
I replay the moment over and over like a record but every time I expect a different song that never comes
The only thing that happens is your voice replays in my head making me want to scream louder to overpower your voice
To overpower one of the most important things because I couldn’t overpower you in any other way so I think about your thoughts the grimy thoughts you could have had about me the thoughts you had when you intertwined with me without my permission and when I was so so young I look into your mind and I see
“I wanted you so I came after you you were small and weak and I could do whatever I want so I did and you liked it deep down”
I get disappointed in myself because that record overplays in my head the voice telling me how small I am how weak you persuade
me
I wish I was big and strong to the point where you didn’t have a chance of taking me but you did and for that I run I run so fast but you still catch up to me the scent of your cologne still penetrates my nose as you take something so valued and precious not just by me but society and I’m blamed for it so I hide with the memories-in the vault of my blame and shame
And I stay there and wilt to the sound of your voice and the smell of your strong disgusting cologne