Lyric Howard (They/She) has moved over 12 times but has spent most of her life in Chicago. They’re a sophomore in college at SIUE and is majoring in Electrical Engineering with a minor in ASL and math. She is currently interested in the process of Solar energy but is open to all forms of electrical energy (as long as little shocking is involved). She has previously worked jobs in Information Technology and wants to broaden out.  They’re a CODES scholar and is working on the topic Community Engagement with tree and water equity. Lyric has worked previously with Community partners such as JJKFAN and Heartlands to find resources for the members of East St. Louis with water equity but has pivoted her project. Lyric is currently working with Tower Grove East a neighborhood in St. Louis and their tree health. Lyric hopes to make a resource for Tower Grove East to help improve their tree quality and satisfaction. Some of these things they do in their free time are Hiking, research, listening to music/ podcast, poetry, and a good nap. Lyric’s goal is to work with people under the poverty line to provide them technical and electrical resources they may need.

My first year in CODES

Your Goal Grade

A Work	B Work	C Work
-Misses one class or less, or completes make-up work for excused absences -Annotates all readings thoroughly -Makes substantive comments in discussions -Completes all assignments on time (or has an approved extension request) -Work demonstrates intellectual engagement, care, effort, and growth in response to feedback -Collaborates substantially, contributes to vision, works equally with peers	-Misses two classes or less, or completes make-up work for excused absences -Annotates readings -Often participates in discussion -Completes all major assignments on time (or has an approved extension request) -Completes most SAs on time -Work demonstrates care, effort and growth in response to feedback -Collaborates equally, completes required work	-Misses three classes or less, or completes make-up work for excused absences -Completes most readings -Sometimes adds to discussion -Completes all major assignments on time (or has an approved extension request) -Completes at least four SAs -Meets minimal expectations on assignments; shows limited growth in response to feedback -Completes required collaborative work

First-Week Introduction

My goal is to work through trials and error of finding out the best way to come out with a plan to execute a project that will truly help others even with many obstacles in the way that I shall overcome.

Midterm Introduction

Final Introduction

Course Goals

Choose five goals from the CODES Student Learning Outcomes that you’d like to work toward. Choose goals that are relevant to the scope of this course, select artifacts/examples based on activities assigned for this course, and explain characteristics in a way that illustrates how your artifacts/examples demonstrate your progress toward the goal.

Goal 1 (20%)
Based on (13C): Be able to communicate clearly and efficient through my writing

I will make sure to use appropriate vocabulary and add my personality to my writing	What examples will you add to the portfolio to demonstrate your learning?	What characteristics of the chosen examples demonstrate you have met your goal?
I will try to use more advance vocabulary by doing more research on them and adding more of a personal touch to the writing	Reflections Emplace Dissertation Emails	Survey questions will show my ability to communicate my questions to others my ability to showcase my story to others through writing reflection and my dissertation will show my ability to understanding my research

Goal 2 (20%)
Based on (8b): I want to make my oral and written communications more complying and interesting to listen to

What will you do to learn the content/ develop the skill?	What examples will you add to the portfolio to demonstrate your learning?	What characteristics of the chosen examples demonstrate you have met your goal?
I will use extended vocabulary and add passion and character in speaking and writing to show my interest and ability to keep reader and listeners attention.	Emplace Emails Reflections	I will show organization during my discussion and writings I will show knowledge of my topic of what I’m speaking and writing about. I will have clear and expressive writing

Goal 3 (20%)
Based on (13A): Understanding my audience and the reason for my studies

What will you do to learn the content/ develop the skill?	What examples will you add to the portfolio to demonstrate your learning?	What characteristics of the chosen examples demonstrate you have met your goal?
I will write with an audience in mind considering the reason of why my CODES project throughout the semester	Dissertation reflections survey questions Final presentations	I will make sure my writing is inclusive for my audience in my survey I will speak and write clearly and direct in my final presentation and reflections I will write with colorful vocabulary to increase enjoyability of my readings in my dissertation

Goal 4 (20%)
Based on (7a): Showing my interest in topics in the class and being able to show my knowledge

What will you do to learn the content/ develop the skill?	What examples will you add to the portfolio to demonstrate your learning?	What characteristics of the chosen examples demonstrate you have met your goal?
show the research I have made on the topics and the knowledge I have gained through it.	Emplace Dissertation Final Project Reflection	I will show knowledge in my reflection by showing the growth I have made Showing my understating of the source and material gained in my dissertation Expressing my knowledge in my Emplace and final project by my ability to teach others of my journey

Goal 5 (20%)
Based on (9b): Identifies and evaluate multiple approaches for solving problems.

What will you do to learn the content/ develop the skill?	What examples will you add to the portfolio to demonstrate your learning?	What characteristics of the chosen examples demonstrate you have met your goal?
Show my understanding or issues and improving them with solutions	Emplace Final Project Dissertation	Showing examples of my input of issues Showing brainstorms and my ability to work in limited time window

Why can’t I wash you off

 get you off my skin you contaminated with your disgusting hands 

every cell of my body now contaminated by your disgusting skin 

every time I think you creep amongst my thoughts making my heart beat faster as you come closer to my brain full of the memories the things you did locked up deeply in my mind you open the vault causing the inflection of pain to erupt into my body 

only thing I could think about is the pain you caused me 

the happiness melting away from my body all I want to know is why

 why me 

I replay the moment over and over like a record but every time I expect a different song that never comes

The only thing that happens is your voice replays in my head making me want to scream louder to overpower your voice 

To overpower one of the most important things because I couldn’t overpower you in any other way so I think about your thoughts the grimy  thoughts you could have had about me the thoughts you had when you intertwined with me without my permission and when I was so so young I look into your mind and I see

“I wanted you so I came after you you were small and weak and I could do whatever I want so I did and you liked it deep down” 

I get disappointed in myself because that record overplays in my head the voice telling me how small I am how weak you persuade

 me 

I wish I was big and strong to the point where you didn’t have a chance of taking me but you did and for that I run I run so fast but you still catch up to me the scent of your cologne still penetrates my nose as you take something so valued and precious not just by me but society and I’m blamed for it so I hide with the memories-in the vault of my blame and shame 

And I stay there and wilt to the sound of your voice and the smell of your strong disgusting cologne 

When I think of a black women I think of a tree

Strong brown and beautiful 

A tree that gives nutrients from her branches

A tree who roots run deep into the earth 

A tree who soil helps the earth go round

I also see the way people take advantage of the tree

They take her fruit with no appreciation for how long it took to grow

They uptake her roots without even giving credit to her beauty

They cut her down and expect her to continue to grow 

When I think of myself as a tree

I see the tree from Charlie Brown

I feel weak at my core and limping over from expectations 

I feel my roots are not as deep as those of my sister trees

I feel the nutrients from my branches are sour to those who taste

My trunk often weeps syrup instead of having a tough exterior 

I realized if I was cut down I’m not sure if I could grow back 

The expectation of my trees are intense

But yet they still stand and conquer

They still give the earth the soil it needs 

I am not that strong of tree

I also wished I was a strong as those other generous tree

I than realized i’m stronger than I ever thought I would be but I not as strong as I wanted to be

And I may continue to grow as a tree one day I may accomplish the strength that I wanted but I can not forget the strength I have gathered  

I was offered the privilege to perform a play I wrote based of a poem of mine at my high school of Moline. It was completely student lead and an amazing experience

By: Lyric Howard

L: Narrator a bit older and you can tell has been through a couple of things

M: A young tween who is adventurous and witty but is about to go through a big life event

S: Young tween. a bit awkward but childhood friend of s starts to deal with emotions in a negative way.

Shadows: played by three people and the self-conscious of M 

Spotlight on L as music slowly starts to increase in volume. L has a mark on their face 

L: The record continues to play. This track feens upon their ears. It just continues playing on and on and on and on! I don’t think they can remember silence not ever since that day.

 (Black out and music dims)

Setting: room with a record player and a couch

Off stage

M: You’re such a dork

S: well if I’m a dork than that makes you the dork Queen

M:  well at least i’m still royalty

S: That was the dumbest comeback of all time

L: Friendship is such a big part of development. It shows and teaches you so many valuable life lessons, but it can also bring complicated feelings and emotions.

M and S are standing together on stage, and they are enjoying each other’s present they dance and play fight until m somehow ends up on the floor

M: I Hate the fact you can do that

S: Just get better and then maybe you could finally win

M: yeah, whatever

S: you know if you just worked out you wouldn’t be so easily defeated by this smoke show (S flexes their muscles)

M: bahahaha if you think that’s a smoke show you should see the j2 bathrooms

L: Children are so innocent. I always wonder about the event in everyone’s lives that makes them lose that childhood joy. Was it the loss of their favorite toy or figuring out the jolly fat man wasn’t actually real. Well, some events are an even darker cape to dim the light of a child (L snaps their fingers)

(The music increases)

M: Om gosh it’s our song

S: ha-ha yeah that reminds me. We’ve known each other for a while.

Shadows: The record

M: yeah, we’re the best of buds (M starts to dance). I think our friend anniversary is coming up.

S: I can’t believe you’re still on about that

M: How could I ever forget the day in Pre-k when we officially became friends

S: Oh, here it goes again

M: You a puny little kid that could barely walk without a gust of wind blowing them over

S: I wasn’t that small. Don’t be overdramatic.

M: shh shhh my favorite part is coming up

S: Whatever (S playfully pushes M)

Shadows: The memories

M: Then I come to your rescue when big bully Zoey really wanted your juice box

S: That was very brave of you. She was a very scary 4-year-old.

M: Oh, I know! I risked my life. Then you came to me in tears begging for my friendship

S: Okay, I didn’t beg

M: No but you did give me your pudding cups for the rest of the school year so close enough and the rest is history.

S: talking about that. I was wondering. how come we’ve never been more (Music increases more)

Shadows: Happiness is melting away

M: * snickers* don’t tell me you’re pulling one of those gimmicks on me

S: No, I’m serious. I think we can make it work. I’ve thought about it for a while.

M: No, I’m sorry but no

Shadows: (still in hiding spots) Why not?

(M looking around for where the voices and S is death staring them)

S: how will you know if we never try

M: I just know okay. it’s just not us.

Shadows: (Starting to peak out) Maybe it can be

S: is it just not us or is it just not you

M: it’s just not us

S: well maybe it is but you’re too selfish to try

M: what are you talking about

S: It’s always about you and never about me or us so maybe were going to try things my way *S grabs M arms

(Shadows start to become even more present)

M: Why are you doing this? I’m Scared

(Shadows begin to appear around S and M)

S + Shadows: Don’t be we Love you 

L: the voices in your head were never as present until the spark of child innocence left. Do you remember when the shadows appeared (Shadow peaks behind L) 

(M steps out and the light is directly on them)

M: I used to think life would always be giggles and laughs with my best friend. It seems that things cannot always be as gleeful as I would hope. It seems as if some darkness has come over our friendship. As if the shadows are now blocking their light that used to be love and turned it into darkness. (Music increase) 

(Shadows start to surround them and moves M back)

M: you’re hurting me I’m scared

Shadows: How can they scare you? You love them!

S: I thought you loved me

M: I do just not like this

S: (S steps out and shadows are grabbing M) I have always loved them in a bigger way than I could understand until now. I love them and they love me. That’s clear. I need this to work. I need to be with them. It’s an itch that I need to be scratched, and it will be.

S+ Shadows: No matter what.

Shadows: Why would they ever hurt you. they love you so much.

M: I don’t know. I can’t.

S: I thought you loved me

M: I do love you

S: Then why won’t you be with me 

M: I don’t know. I’m scared.

Shadows: you’ll always be scared *three

Shadows being to encapsulate M but M breaks free.

M: I can only feel the touch of their hand against my skin. A touch that used to be so delicate and calming is now hot and disgusting.

Shadows: Disgusting hands *Repeating*

M: I wish I could wash this feeling off, but I know that it will never leave me

Shadows: Wash off *Repeating*

L: The feeling of love can be described in many positive forms. Such as delicate, warm, cozy, fuzzy, and calming but what about suffocating. When the love that used to be so delicate now pounces on your lungs. When your cozy room of kisses and hugs now strangles you with the same arms that felt so comforting. The same lips that felt so loving is now a vicious bite.

S:  I love them so much. There is something inside me that is finally compelling me to confess this to them. They must know. They need to know, and they will accept it, or I cannot continue to live in this lie that I do not love them more than they could ever understand.

Shadows: I love you *Repeating*

M: The memory will replay in my head such as a record. The voice that was so nice and calming to hear is now replaying as a screeching screen in my ear. I cannot withstand this I am not strong enough to.

Shadows: Record *repeating*

S: You must love me like I love you were meant to be. Why can’t you see that?

M: This isn’t right. You were my friend. The person I could come to all the time and now you have become some monster. I can’t do this.

S: I just want to love you. Please

Shadows: I just want to love you. *Repeating*

M cannot run anymore and the shadows and s start to surround Them

The lights black out m has a mark on their face but is hidden from the audience and s leaves.

The lights turn on L tries to comfort m but sees the mark on M and the shadows surround them.

L: No this can’t be no no no

She goes into a ball she realizes she must let go. She takes a deep breath. The shadows start to leave. the loud music stops, and m walks off as L gets up from a ball and finally hears nothing, she realizes she’s free and it black outs