Mentorship is a dynamic relationship that can shape both the mentor and the mentee, fostering personal growth and professional development. As someone who grew up as an only child, the value of guidance and support became particularly evident to me. With no siblings to share experiences with, I often sought out mentors in various aspects of my life. I sometimes found myself as a child observing others and how they behave and react. As someone who did not have an older sibling to idolize or guide me I often found myself asking questions I never quite had the answer to. I would often wonder who would give me life advice, guide me towards a career path and who my children would call if they needed anything. This motivated me to step into the role of a mentor myself. One of the most significant challenges I encountered was time management. Balancing my responsibilities as a mentor with my personal and professional commitments often felt overwhelming. My feelings were backed by a 2006 study by Allen et al., stating that effective mentorship requires an investment of time, which can be difficult depending on other responsibilities one may have. I constantly juggled meetings with mentees, work obligations, and my own life. This often led to feelings of guilt when I felt I was not dedicating enough time to those I was mentoring. I also wasn’t sure if the guidance I was trying to provide was helpful, so in a sense, I felt undervalued.
I overcame this challenge by continuing to preserve and look at this opportunity with fresh eyes and I also had to realize; mentoring demands patience, a virtue that I had to cultivate actively. I had to realize that every day was not going to be a step forward, somedays I’d be stuck at stand still. There would be times when I had to reteach concepts, I thought were already built into their school’s curriculum such as critical thinking and goal setting which tested my ability to remain calm and supportive. I had to embrace the situations I was put in by taking the extra time to teach them theses life skills and how to plan for their future. I even went as far as reviewing how to apply to college and determine if that school was fit for them. I truly believe that patience is crucial for creating a safe space for your mentees, and this has been backed by a variety of research findings, including those of Dubois and Silverthorn (2005). Although there were times when I questioned my effectiveness as a mentor, reflecting on my own experiences of growth and learning helped me to recognize that setbacks are often part of the journey.
This perspective allowed me to foster an environment where my mentees felt encouraged to persevere. During my time mentoring over the summer, I worked with teens from the inner city of Chicago. I felt I couldn’t connect with them simply because I grew up in the outer suburbs. Due to our different backgrounds, I dedicated my time with them to adjusting to their specific needs. I would often get frustrated when they would be late to our meetings or sometimes not show up at all, but over time, I realized the issue was a lot of them were using public transit, and the reason why I felt a disconnect in that sense is because I had never used public transportation to travel across the city like they had. I took it upon myself to do it for the duration of the mentoring program so that I could feel how they felt when traveling on public transportation. The reason why I chose to bring this experience up is to show that not all mentoring relationships are the same. Some mentees need a firm and direct approach while others just need a bit of guidance and empathy. Even though I was raised on the outskirts of Chicago, being surrounded by inner-city kids opened my eyes to new challenges anyone their age might face. It was almost like the fog had been removed from my eyes. I always had one perspective on how those living in the inner city operated but, that program opened so many other outlooks on how they live and move around.
The summer program required me to spend between 4-to-8-hour days with the teens 4 to 5 days a week. There would be days where we would be walking around for what felt like hours, so motivation was another hurdle I faced in my mentoring journey. Initially, I was driven by the desire to provide the support I wished I had as a child. However, as I navigated the complexities of mentorship, I occasionally struggled to find that same motivation, especially when results were slow to materialize. I had to find a new reason to get them excited about the activities we had planned for the day and reiterate why it was good for them and the community. It became clear to me that my enthusiasm not only influenced my mentees but also set the tone for our interactions. If I didn’t seem excited for the activity they didn’t even bother to give it a chance so I made sure to be careful to ensure they got best out of the program for the summer. To combat dips in motivation, I began to set small achievable goals for myself and my mentees. Celebrating these milestones reinforced my commitment to the mentoring process and revitalized my passion for guiding others.
In conclusion, the journey of mentorship is filled with challenges, including managing time, exercising patience, and maintaining motivation. I realized how impactful a supportive figure could be, and I wanted to provide that same sense of guidance to others. I wanted my mentees to experience the same growth that I had found through my mentors. However, these hardships are outweighed by the profound impact that mentorship can have on both the mentor and the mentee. This motivation kept me grounded and focused, reminding me of the larger purpose behind my efforts. My experiences as an only child instilled in me a deep understanding of the importance of guidance, and it is this understanding that drives me to continue mentoring. Throughout my time as a mentor, I recognize that mentorship is not only about imparting knowledge; It is also about fostering relationships that nurture growth, resilience, and hope.
Sources
Allen, T. D., Eby, L. T., & Lentz, E. (2006). Mentorship behaviors and mentorship quality
associated with formal mentoring programs: Closing the gap between research and
practice. Journal of Applied Psychology, 91(3), 567–578. https://doi.org/10.1037/00219010.91.3.567
DuBois, D. L., & Silverthorn, N. (2005). Natural Mentoring Relationships and Adolescent
Health: Evidence from a National Study. Journal of College Student Development, 46(6),
665-681.