Being a First Generation American Muslim
I was a pretty energetic kid throughout elementary school; I enjoyed making friends and was kind to all of my teachers. I made lots of new memories and experiences throughout that time at school. Although in my culture, we don’t celebrate holidays like Halloween or Christmas, I would always enjoy the parties at school. I never really understood why we would have these parties at school; I just knew that everyone I knew celebrated these holidays and that they were a big deal.
I soon realized that we get Christmas Day off and Thanksgiving but didn’t get a day off for Eid-Al-Fitr (Eid). Eid is a holiday celebrated by Muslims around the world; it marks the end of the month-long dawn-to-dusk fasting of Ramadan. I asked my parents why we didn’t have a day off school on our big holiday. They told me about different cultures celebrating different holidays; not all cultures celebrate the same holiday. I remember going to school every year on Eid, and while some of my Muslim friends would skip, I always had a test or essential review day that I shouldn’t miss. When I got home from school, my family and I would dress up, have lots of good food, and invite our family friends to our house or go to visit them.
Throughout middle school, I always felt slightly insecure, whether just trying to fit in with the crowd or figuring out my personality. In my physical education class, I had to wear a T-shirt and shorts; at the time, I was comfortable wearing a T-shirt, but not so much about the shorts. Instead of just wearing the shorts by themselves, I decided to wear leggings under the shorts. My physical education teacher then approached me and asked why I was wearing leggings under my shorts because the class syllabus clearly stated that wearing leggings under the shorts was against the rules. I then explained how I never really felt comfortable wearing shorts, and I never really wore shorts throughout my life. My teacher thought I was lying, and after a while, he finally let me wear leggings under my shorts because he was very strict on the syllabus rules. He also had a very annoyed look while I was talking to him, and he made me explain in front of the whole class instead of talking to me one-on-one. This experience made me feel slightly embarrassed since my teacher made me talk about my reasons in front of the whole class. Also, many other kids in my class wondered why the teacher made the situation such a big deal.
Growing up, my friends and classmates would ask me to hang out with them sometimes or to have a sleepover. I would then explain that I have never been trick or treating or been to a sleepover in my life, and their reactions would be jaw-dropping. Throughout my life, my parents would be somewhat strict and overprotective. Thinking about it now, I understand why they acted like this, as they just wanted to protect me. My friends would say that they felt sorry for me and acted as if I was really missing out. I would ask my parents several times to do things with my friends, even though I already knew the answer. My parents would tell me that we have a set of rules that we all must follow.
Especially throughout middle school, there was a time when I found fitting in the hardest. For example, when I did wear shorts to school, they would not be short shorts, so some girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing guy shorts. I was confused at first, but I soon realized what they meant. This encounter with my friends deeply affected me; I never wore those shorts to school again after that day. Also, my entire life, I was very religious, and I did not know any Muslim girls who went to my school. I always wished that I had Muslim friends in school so I had someone to relate to. The only Muslim friends I had were my family friends, and they were either much older than me or younger than me.
The month of Ramadan is the time when Muslims fast from dawn to dusk every day. During Ramadan, you wake up and eat breakfast before sunrise, and you cannot eat or drink until sunset. My first Ramadan was during 8th grade, and my parents told me that if I did not want to fast during the weekdays because of school, I could do the weekends, but I wanted to do all seven days a week. My parents told me it was up to me if I felt comfortable fasting during school days, especially with all the homework. If I’m being completely honest, doing homework and studying on the weekdays was tough while fasting, I would often feel drained and most of the time I would have to wait until after the sun set to do my work because I was either tired or hungry and didn’t have the energy. Fasting at school was an experience. Often, my friends would say, “Not even water!” they would be concerned for my health and tell me how fasting for that long is not healthy and cannot be right. Then there would be the other people who would eat lunch in my face, knowing that I was fasting, but at that point, I got used to it, and it did not really affect me.
In my senior year of high school, one time in my class, we had a few foreign exchange students who only knew Spanish, so my teacher prepared a sentence in Spanish to say to them as they entered the classroom. After they walked in, my teacher approached me and said the Spanish sentence, but I told her I did not know Spanish and that she was so sorry. My point here is that throughout my life, many of my peers assumed that I was either Mexican or Indian, but when I told them that I was Asian, they often looked at me confused, and one person even said, “I’m going to need a DNA test on that!” I still deal with these situations, but I have gotten used to it, and people usually apologize regardless.
I have had many challenges, and my family has always supported me through these challenging times. Talking to my family, especially my sister, has been a massive help because we can relate to these experiences. These experiences have shaped who I am today, and I am glad that I took each of these experiences as a learning opportunity.